Monday, August 4, 2008

How Old is Too Old?

One of my favorite movies of all time is "A Christmas Story". When it was released in 1983, Ralphie was 9 years old. So was I! I could relate to him. Even though the time period was back when my Grandparents were kids, I could relate to the 9 year old boy who really really wanted something special for Christmas. That and the annoying younger sibling part. (o: I have to say my parents were MUCH more mild mannered, but I really really love that movie. So does Travis. Our boys are beginning to enjoy it as well. It's one of the very few "non-educational" flicks we let them watch. But, seriously, it's a Christmas movie! They also watch good old Uncle Scrooge too. (George C. Scott will always be our favorite!)

Anyway, I've gotten off on a bit of a tangent. Those Christmas movies bring back an eternity of nostalgia for everyone. I do have a point here. My question old is too old to put soap in the mouth of a child that is mouthing off so badly that the alternative would be to either tape his mouth shut, or send them to Jupiter? Joseph has been very bad about talking to me the past few days in a very disrespectful tone. My question to him every time is, "Would you talk to Daddy that way?" In which he always replies, "NO!" Today we went over to his grandparents for a short visit. Joseph whined and threw little fits for not getting his way, and told me off for things he felt were great injustices. ("Mommy, who do you think you are to interrupt me?"~this being said as I was talking to his Grandma~how ironic!) Then, we went to Fred Meyer. He wanted to go walk over to the construction site of the gas station they are putting in. It was late and so I told him that we could go and do that tomorrow, but we needed to get home. He really threw a fit which got him "helped" into the car. Once in the car the conversation went something like this.

"Mommy, I'm getting sick and tired of your stupid rules!"

"Joseph, I'm getting sick and tired of your mouthiness and your bad attitude."

"Oh yah, well you need to adjust your attitude Mommy and stop with your stupid rules!"

"Joseph, I've had enough! One more disrespectful word out of your mouth and you will get soap."

"Your soap is stupid too. Just like your stupid rules!"

"Okay, you made your choice."

So, we get home and he runs to the bathroom, because Travis and I are famous for carrying through with our threats. I popped the lock, cornered him and proceeded to put Dawn soap (of course I use Dawn!) on his lips, which is all I've ever done cause the teeth are scary. He put up a fight! Here is an x-ray of what he did to me.

Just kidding. That's not my hand. It's the wrong finger anyway, but can I just say that I now have a new respect for those gangsters of the Yakuza who would cut off parts of their fingers when they dishonored their leader. He bit my middle finger so hard that I screamed. I'm sure the neighbors thought I was getting murdered. Then I cried. Partly because it hurt-a lot-and partly because I'm an extremely emotionally hormonal pregnant person at the moment. All I know is that as soon as he did it, he knew he was in for it. Then when he heard my howl and saw the blood he really knew he was done for. He went straight to his room after apologizing to no avail. Once I got a band-aid on, I went to his room and boxed up his favorite dogs. No more Lucky, Penny, Baby Doggie, Husky Dog, and Mommy and Daddy Doggie. He was howling at this point as well, because this is the biggest punishment of all. Those dogs go everywhere he goes.

So, now the final consensus is that he has to prove that he can be respectful to me like he is to his dad and then he gets his dogs back. I think he's lucky that his dad wasn't here (he's at work), cause he would have been sent to Jupiter compliments of daddy's boot. He was mortified when I texted Travis the whole story. Anyway, this has turned into a very long story, but I'm just very upset that my little boy has begun turning into one of those mouthy little turds like the one ones that I teach (and love very much) in Primary. I have four 10 year old boys in my class and boy can they be turkeys. I'm not ready for that yet. Joseph has checked on me a few times tonight and he asked me if this was going to be washed away when he gets baptized next month. I told him yes, and that he should really start working on becoming more respectful because next month he will have reached the age of accountability and he's going to need to be responsible for his actions.

All in all I think we all learned a lesson. Joseph's going to try harder to be nicer mouthed child and I'm going to invest in some bricks of Lifebuoy soap!


Katharine said...

Oh my - I don't have kids so I have no advice and since I have almost no patience I actually yell at the dog when he annoys me. Which is silly because the dog has NO idea what I'm saying so I wind up feeling like an idiot. BUT, I think you handled the whole situation very well. You followed through on the consequences for his actions, and you did it once you had calmed down. Brava my dear - and btw, I think anytime your kid bites you it means you get a trip to the day spa! Tell Travis I said so!

Wolfie! said...

Just being thankful I don't have kids and never will. It's a shame Humans can't eat their young.